Home ›› 25 Oct 2022 ›› Editorial
Negotiation is a dialogue between two or more people or parties to reach a desired outcome regarding one or more issues of conflict. It is an interaction between entities who aspire to agree on matters of mutual interest. The agreement can be beneficial for all or some of the parties involved. The negotiators should establish their own needs and wants while also seeking to understand the wants and needs of others involved to increase their chances of closing deals, avoiding conflicts, forming relationships with other parties, or maximising mutual gains. People negotiate daily, often without considering it a negotiation. Negotiations may occur in organisations, including businesses, non-profits, and governments, as well as in sales and legal proceedings, and personal situations such as marriage, divorce, parenting, friendship, etc. Professional negotiators are often specialised. Examples of professional negotiators include union negotiators, leverage buyout negotiators, peace negotiators, or hostage release.They may also work under other titles, such as diplomats, legislators , or brokers Negotiations may also be conducted by algorithms or machines in what is known as automated negotiation. In automated negotiation, the participants and process have to be modelled correctly.
In procedural terms, negotiation is probably the most flexible form of dispute resolution as it involves only those parties with an interest in the matter and their representatives, if any. The parties are free to shape the negotiations in accordance with their own needs, for example, setting the agenda, selecting the forum (public or private) and identifying the participants. By ensuring that all those who have an interest in the dispute have been consulted regarding their willingness to participate and that adequate safeguards exist to prevent inequities in the bargaining process (i.e., an imbalance in power between the parties), the chances of reaching an agreement satisfactory to all are enhanced.
Negotiators have a tendency to negotiate from one of five styles: competing, accommodating, avoiding, compromising, or collaborative. These are adapted from Thomas Kilmann’s conflict styles and tend to correlate well in negotiation, especially given that there is sometimes tension when two or more parties are trying to meet their differing or conflicting needs.
Negotiators that exhibit this style are assertive, self-confident, and focused on the deal and results. These individuals tend to pursue their own concerns, sometimes at their counterpart’s expense, and in the extreme can become aggressive and domineering. On the assertive vs. cooperative scale, this style is higher in assertiveness and lower in cooperativeness. Using the substance vs. relationship axes, competing negotiators tend to be more focused on the substance than the relationship.
Completing a successful negotiation is about more than interacting with the other parties in the negotiation.
Research from the University of California in San Francisco shows that the more difficulty you have saying no, the more likely you are to experience stress, burnout, and even depression (three things that hinder your emotional intelligence). Saying no is indeed a major challenge for most people. Anyone who suffers from the stress that comes from over commitment can get help themselves by following these simple strategies for saying no.
Before you can become good at saying no, you have to know what you’re saying yes to when you’re saying no. You see every opportunity that you pass with a no is really saying yes to something else − something that you’d prefer to do or something more important to you in the long run. You can’t hope to say no when the pressure is on until you know for sure what you really want. When you’re feeling pressure to say yes and acquiescence feels easier than taking a stand, just think of your yes. If joining the PTA fundraising committee means spending even less time with your children, focusing your attention on this fact will embolden you to say no and keep your priorities straight.
Even if you feel like saying yes (and certainly if you’re having doubts), ask for a day to think about it before providing an answer. It’s going to be much easier to say no once you’ve had time to consider all of your commitments and whether the item in question is a realistic addition to your schedule. This will also give you a chance to come up with the best way to say no.
Sandwiching a no between two yeses ensures that your no will be more palatable. It’s also a great way to explain that to which you are already committed. For example, if your boss asks you to work on the weekend, but you have family commitments you cannot break, explain these commitments to your boss (the first yes), how that prevents you from coming in on the weekend (the no), and finish by confirming your commitment to the company and your work (the final yes) by asking if there are other ways you can contribute that don’t require you to come in that weekend.
Make no mistake about it, no is a powerful word that you should not be afraid to wield. When it’s time to say no, you need to avoid phrases like “I don’t think I can” or “I’m not certain.” Using limp phrases instead of saying no will often be considered a yes. When it’s time to say no, just say no! Be prepared to repeat yourself. If you say no and the other party pushes back, the best thing you can do is repeat yourself. This is much easier to do when you recognize beforehand that it is often necessary. In some cases, you may have to repeat yourself more than once. If you offered any explanation with your original response, you can repeat this explanation or just say no again. Don’t back yourself into a corner by trying to explain yourself further. It is your right to say no to any request, and you’ll often need to be firm in order to have your intentions understood.
No matter your strengths and weaknesses, practice is a surefire way to develop your skills. The more negotiations you take part in, the more prepared you’ll be for future dealings.
Structured learning opportunities can also prove to be highly beneficial. Negotiation books and articles are a great starting point for learning the basics of striking a deal. Resources that explore real-life examples of successful negotiations can give you perspective on how others navigated difficult discussions and prepare you to face similar scenarios.
It’s not out of the realms of possibility that you might have heard about Sun Tzu before, the famed Ancient Chinese War Strategist who wrote an ancient book called The Art of the War.
One of his most famed strategies, called the “Attention Diversion” strategy, has been used to gain victory in countless wars. Interestingly, not a lot of negotiators that I know of have consciously employed this strategy in long, complex business negotiations. Although a seemingly easy strategy to explain, it does take a bit of time to become familiarized with the application of this strategy into business negotiations, which is exactly what we will be covering today. First of all, why and how is the attention diversion strategy useful in business negotiations? Well, the main benefit of this strategy is it diverts your opponents’ attention into demanding concessions on things you deem little or even no value, which gives you the upper hand in negotiations without your opponent even realising.
Negotiation reduces conflicts and improves the relation among individuals. We are human beings and unlike animals we live in societies and need people around. How would you feel if your next door neighbours don’t talk to you? People can’t stay all alone. They need the company of others to share happiness, sorrows and take each other’s help whenever required. Don’t always find fault in others. It is okay if your next door neighbour has parked his car in front of your house. Don’t go and fight with him. You might even need him some day. Don’t get hyper or over react. Try to understand the other person as well.
The writer is MD and CEO of Community Bank. He can be contacted at [email protected]
