Ways to detect software spying on you  

Maria grew up in a Catholic family on the east coast of America and her parents had a good marriage. Witnessing her parents, she wanted the same for her own relationship.  

In her early twenties, she met her husband and it felt like love.

But the romance didn’t last for long, it turned into a 25-year tale of abuse and control.

"He would call me fat every day, he would barricade me out of the house when he was angry" she recalls.

Her husband even objected to her having a job where she had to interact with others and he also banned her from using the computer.  

Eventually, the financial abuse ramped up. At first, he would take away her pay-cheque from her cleaning job, then, he applied for credit cards in Maria's name using her social security number, reports BBC. 

Maria finally broke down six years ago when she heard him saying that he wanted her dead. After knowing his intension with the help of her church and family, she slowly formulated an escape plan.    

She eventually moved in with her sister after losing their property to foreclosure and finally, she had that freedom to own a laptop for the first time and to set up a Facebook account.  

But soon, she found that her ex-husband was following her and started turning up wherever she was.

She would suddenly spot him driving behind her on a motorway. Once, she called the police as she got terrified as he was chasing her and thought he could possibly pull a gun.   

She didn't press any charges. But she found out she had been a victim of so-called Stalkerware. 

Stalkerware is commercially available software that's used to spy on another person via their device - usually a phone - without their consent.

It can allow the user to view someone else's messages, location, photos, files, and even eavesdrop on the conversations.

Eva Galperin formed the Coalition Against Stalkerware in 2019 to help the victims to tackle the problem.

When someone has access to your phone the potential for exploitation is huge, she explains. For example, a victim could be blackmailed with threats to share intimate photos.

She decided to set up the group after looking into reports from a number of alleged rape victims.

Galperin says that in the domestic abuse cases she encounters -- "Tech-enabled abuse is almost universally there," and that this often includes Stalkerware.

A study by Norton Labs found that the number of devices indicating that they had Stalkerware installed rose by 63 per cent between September 2020 and May 2021.

The report suggested the dramatic increase could be due to the effect of lockdowns.

Over the last two years, Galperin has managed to convince a clutch of anti-virus companies to take this type of malicious software more seriously.

In October, Google removed several adverts for applications encouraging prospective users to spy on their partner's phone.  

These apps are often used by parents to monitor their child’s movements and activities.

One of those apps, SpyFone was banned by the US Federal Trade Commission in September for harvesting and sharing data about people's movements and activities through a hidden device hack.

Despite these positive moves, some Stalkerware apps are still easily accessible online.

Galperin calls this tech "an extremely powerful tool" for private investigators, who can easily use it to track their targets' locations.

Even, those who are more tech-savvy can still fall prey to it.

One such person was Charlotte (not her real name), a senior cybersecurity analyst.

Soon after she got engaged, she slowly realised odd things had started happening to her phone.

It wasn't until her partner made it clear that he always knew where she was, and she finally connected the dots. 

She was shocked to discover a "culture of acceptance of being able to track your partner".

Many services claim that they can hack into someone's smartphone with just a phone number, for a few hundred dollars to be paid in cryptocurrency.

The cybersecurity experts believe these websites are likely to be scams.

The target might be sent a text message, which looks plausible, inviting them to click on a link.

Charlotte suggests, "don't be scared" if you try to delete a suspicious app.

Sometimes they use scare tactics to get the users not to remove the software.

Charlotte also recommends doing a factory reset of your phone, changing all of your social media account passwords and using two-factor authentication all the time, if someone ever faces this kind of situations. 

So, what would be the best way of tackling the problem?

However, most countries already have some sort of wiretapping statute and anti-stalking laws but they are not in act.

For example, in 2020, France introduced a new bill on domestic violence stating that geo-tracking someone without their consent is now punishable with one year's imprisonment and a fine of €45,000 (£38,000; $51,000). If this is done by your partner, the fines could be even higher.

Ways forward

Eva Galperin thinks that both Google and Apple could take action by making it impossible to buy any of these apps on their stores.

One of the biggest issues she says she sees is that the survivors who come to law enforcement, expect them to enforce the law but essentially get “gaslit’.

Clinic To End Tech Abuse (CETA) is one such facility associated with Cornell University that works directly with abuse survivors.

Rosanna Bellini from CETA says that occasionally they might not recommend removing Stalkerware from the victim's phone immediately without planning safety measures. It can lead to an escalation of violence if an abuser's access to the victim's phone is suddenly cut.

"Don't be scared. There is help out there. I've made huge strides and if I can do it at my age - at 56 - anyone can do it. ", she says.  

But still, sometimes she gets anxious about her phone. She was diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).